In the pre-COVID-19 era, you had a work schedule, a social life, and errands to run. Now you are at home with your spouse all day, with limited movement and social distancing. Welcome to the COVID-19 Era. This is 100% unchartered territory, but since you survived the wedding planning you will survive this too. The truth is, quarantine can put a real strain on your relationship. In fact, China which is slowly emerging from a lengthy lockdown due to COVID-19-recently experienced a sudden spike in divorce rates and experts coronavirus is to blame.
Being at home with your spouse, with nowhere to go, not because you don’t want, because you can’t, can go either way, it can bring you closer, or it can make you want to strangle each other. To make sure you fall in the former category, here are a few tips from us at Couple on a Journey.
Work in separate rooms or back to back
Working from home can be tricky especially since you all have the same rights to all the rooms in the house. Designate separate rooms to work from. It will reduce the tension of having your spouse around all the time. Also, couples tend to have very different focusing habits, Joe prefers loud music as he works, Nyamu is the work in silence kind, now imagine us working in one room the whole day together. Not good. If this is not an option, come up with ways to make it easier on each other, working back to back is a good idea.
Take outside time or breaks together
Being cooped up in the house all day is the easiest way to get cabin fever. Go for a walk around the estate, walk to the shop, do some garden work, play ball, sit at the balcony- just get outside.
Do Home Improvement Projects
Wanted to paint that wall? Fix a broken item or rearrange your room? We all have projects and to-do lists that have been pending for months or maybe years on account of no time. After your workday, come up with a project and take it on together. We recently planted plants in formula cans that have been saving for that purpose for about 4 months now. We planted them together, it gave some new memories but also felt good to get it done. Check out the pic below.
Make time for fun
Try a new recipe, play a board game, watch movies, workout and more. It’s very easy to get stuck indoors watching Netflix all day, but you still must make time for your relationship. Without the usual commute to work, doing something fun can be the thing you both need to separate yourself from workday to home life, especially when you spend the whole day in the house.
Don’t take the stress out on your spouse.
This is a tough one. This COVID-19 pandemic is extremely stressful and fearful, and your spouse is probably the sounding board for all your concerns and fears. Since you are stuck together this is the time to practice patience, mindfulness, and listening. No matter how scared and frustrated you get, remember not to take it out on your spouse, instead be grateful to have a partner to go through this together and extend grace and love.
It’s an extremely hard time for all of us but remember your relationship doesn’t need to suffer during this uncertain time. Take care of yourself, care for each other and dance it out.
How are you and your person coping in this season? We would love to know.
We’d love to help you!
Marriage Mediation is a conflict resolution process for couples who are experiencing destructive conflicts but are committed to remaining married.