When we were dating, we had a picture perfect dream of being that married couple that had devotion every day. We got married – then reality checked in. It has taken us almost 2 and a half years to actually have devotion every day. It’s not that we didn’t try. We made some half-hearted efforts. Nyamu got us a couple’s devotional beginning of this year and it wasn’t until June that we really got our act together and have had steady daily devotion. On the journey to getting here we have learned a number of things:

Desire won’t get you anywhere: Wanting something and aspiring to it won’t do much good. When you think of who you want to be but don’t put any effort to being that person or couple, it is futile. We really wanted to be doing our devotional daily but that didn’t happen until the effort of buying a devotional was exerted. Buying the devotion was only part 2, we had to create some time which was difficult to begin with. As a young couple, we had ideals of what our marriage should look like but we soon realized that, there are ideals, and there is reality.

Some things take time: This is one lesson we keep learning, as a young couple the pressure is real, we want to outperform our roles and get awarded best husband and wife or even best couple. Ask any couple and they will tell you, it takes time and there is no such thing as the best couple (only at weddings). We have learned that we have a life time together and there are many things we still don’t have a hold of, but we like to say we have 50 years ahead of us, we will get it right as long as we keep trying.

Discipline is everything: We do our devotions in the morning as soon as we wake up. Now since we are all humans sometimes the sleepy head (points to Nyamu) wants a few more minutes of shuteye, sometimes the call of nature is intense, social media demands your attention among many things. We always insist on it being the first order of the day. Should we both find ourselves downstairs before devotion we know we have to go back and get it done. We try to limit distractions as much as possible. And we hold each other accountable.

Create a structure: our devotional follows the same structure daily and this has really helped, roles are spelt out. We take turns. And it looks like this; Start with a bible verse, pray, read, share insights, and end with prayer. It seems simple but on some days, the sharing can go on for long especially if we see things differently. This may sound boring, but having a certain way of doing things makes it more manageable and enjoyable.

Devotions are not a quick fix: We still struggle applying the lessons that we learn. I remember a day when we read and passionately discussed about the importance of kindness and gentleness – the kind of devotion that gets you confessing to each other as you look deeply into each other’s eyes. Believe you me, that same day, we had deficiencies on the same principles that we had read, discussed and prayed over. Don’t expect devotionals to be a quick fix to the challenges in your marriage. It is not mara moja. It takes the Holy Spirt and conviction to change you personally, thus changing your marriage.

Devotions give you perspective: God’s word is truly a double edged sword. It has guided us. His word has been a lamp unto our feet, a light onto our path. As God’s word lights our way, it has not only faded many fears and anxieties, but we are able to see our individual faults, not the faults on each other. Learning from the experiences and stories of other couples reminds us that we are on this journey of love for the glory of God. Its gives a new perspective to our personal and marital struggles because we believe that He started a good work in us is able to complete it.

Lastly, devotions have helped us see each other as God’s son and daughter. When we started viewing each other as heirs to the kingdom of God, we loved and appreciated each other more. We look forward to seeing what God has in store for us, both as a couple and as individuals, learning to let go and let God.

Something amazing can happen when you bring God to the center of your relationship, when you truly make him the third strand in the rope. We cannot imagine what and where we could be without God and the gift of Salvation through Christ.



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Marriage Mediation is a conflict resolution process for couples who are experiencing destructive conflicts but are committed to remaining married.